Bad news we suffered a massive slow down due to holidays, and Rho_bot’s continued inaction on graphics, and me being required to put in extra time at let’s say my evening job. This meant that instead of coding I’ve been relearning how to use blender. Good news is I’ve gotten some graphics done: the game over background and a group of asteroids. This has led to a predictable push out in Stoned’s completion date.
So I’m going to take this update to thank striking fast food workers for hastening the rise of humanity’s robot masters. I don’t know what roll a burger making robot will have in the glorious, metallic future though. Once humanity is gone there won’t be much call for burgers since everyone knows that robots use alcohol to fuel their mighty power cells. But I’m sure they will none-the-less make a valuable contribution to robo society.
Of course the date that machines will supplant meat-bag meat flippers is still underdetermined since Zerohedge’s commentary is actually just regurgitating a year old Business Insider article. Or (maybe) they used the wayback machine to view an old version of Momentum Machine’s website.
The current version of Momentum Machines website is a little thin on the news and details regarding their harbinger of the revolution (the last salient site update was in 2013). After more than three years of operation I’d expect some video or photographs of a prototype but, then again, if I was building Skynet in a San Francisco garage I would have an overly cheery website that was scant on details too.
Since we got the all important promotional-cover image out of the way in September, we spent the better part of October actually working on Stoned in Space, and we made enough progress to have screen shots! Unfortunately Rho_bot has been less productive at graphics than I was at code (something about real life and an actual job was mentioned. Sounded pretty fishy to me), so we still have plenty of filler graphics and preliminary layouts. While many of the details of the game continue to be shrouded from us some details have become clear. Players will be able to choose a weapon, shield, and special ability for their ship.
While it still contains some filler graphics we’re comfortable with the layout of the game screen although we are discussing adding another control.
After some initial volatility the schedule seems to have settled on some time in February for a completion date. Since most of the buffer has been allocated we’ll see if that holds up for another month.
Since we released Cosmic Bootlegger last week it’s time to announce our new project! that we started work on … three months ago. It’s called
and as you can see from our handy project complete date estimator we’ve been hard at work on this project for … almost none of that time.
What will Stoned in Space be about? While working on Cosmic Bootleggers I realized that my favorite part was was dodging asteroids while sneaking into systems. So we’re going to rebuild and expand that minigame stronger, faster, and with guns! (hopefully for less than $6 million.)
Now I’m sure some skintubes are asking why did we pick Stoned in Space as the name for our new project. The simple answer is we wanted to call it Asteroids Strike Back, but that, like all good game names, has been taken by a shitty Flash game, that I want to give me the 5 minutes of my life back that I spent playing it.
We’ve been online for a whole month and I’ve already failed at my personal goal of posting dev updates on the first Monday of the month.
Cosmic Bootlegger has entered mobile alpha testing, and will be ready for general consumption … sometime … I’d love to say, ‘the mobile version will be done next week,’ but we all know how release dates for games work (You increase the units twice so ‘next week’ -> ‘next month’ -> ‘next year’).
“Why is it taking so long to release the mobile version after releasing the desktop version?” the impatient among you ask. Well we decided to add some premium features. Getting those ready and working through the in app purchase flow is taking some time.
Long un-awaited Cosmic Bootlegger (download) has arrived.
You have recently inherited a coveted interstellar merchant’s license from your cousin’s mother’s sister’s husband. After managing to secure a small ship you are now ready to become the local star cluster’s most (in)famous trader. Unfortunately there’s only 26 weeks before the Merchant of the Millennium awards, and you have a lot of hard work to do if you’re going to win the jumbonium tiara.
Current interstellar drives are incapable of directly taking you anywhere in the cluster; so, you can only travel to other systems connected to your present location by starlanes. Much to the surprise of those who originally discovered the starlanes and chagrin of speeders, it takes exactly one week to traverse a starlane regardless of the distance between systems, and there are no rest stops; so, bring plenty of toilet paper. Fortunately this keeps the galactic police service out of the starlanes as they stay near the ends where the donuts are.
When visiting a system you have the option of going through the customs checkpoint, where your ship will be searched for contraband. Your ship has a variety of locations to conceal contraband from the initial cursory inspection. If unconcealed contraband is found it will trigger a thorough inspection of your ship, all contraband will be confiscated and you’ll face a hefty fine. Alternately you can attempt to sneak into the system by navigating an asteroid field – but keep in mind that spaceships don’t react well to asteroid hits.
The local cluster consists of a group of 5-10 star systems connected by starlanes. Each system has passed laws making some of the cluster’s 12 commodity goods illegal; the illegal goods in each system will vary from game to game. In each system you are able to trade any of the commodities regardless of legality because, well, everyone needs 200 Proof Slurm to party, and you always happen to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a giant worm. Similar to a well known game from the historical archives the prices of goods change every time you move, vary wildly and often make no sense as everyone and their cousin’s mother’s sister’s son smuggles illicit goods into the system. You’ll start with 5000 credits and a ‘short cylinder’ class ship. It has a cargo hold with 30 spaces – 5 of which double as smuggling compartments.
The commodities that can be traded in the local cluster:
Spice – Sometimes called Melange. It’s the only substance that will get space navigators high enough to plot new trade routes.
Pentainum Ore – It’s like tri-tainium ore except two better.
All Beef Patties – As cows are an endangered species, beef can fetch a hefty premium on the black angus market, also good for greasing palms and emergency rations.
Soilent Green – Yep, it’s still made out of people.
Antimatter Rods – It’s the fuel of the future and incredibly explosive: handle with caution.
Bending Robots – They can bend a girder to any angle you want.
Sonic Actuators – Used in sonic screwdrivers and wrenches and hammers – oh my.
Intestinal Parasites – The future’s diet drug of choice because we’d rather have disgusting worms in our bowels than exert self control.
200 Proof Slurm – Space’s most rockin’ adult-beverage.
Food Replicators – Tea, Earl Grey, HOT!
Plot Hole Navigators – They make all of storyline flaws in our favorite scifi and anime shows make sense.
Tribbles – The hamster of the future. Just don’t let them touch.